Sandra's Story
Written by Sandra, Wales.
I am writing to explain how PSS has changed our lives.
Successfully caring for someone with Alzheimer's involves constantly being aware of their moods and reactions and anticipating their needs at all times. Routine is everything, the more the illness progresses the smaller your world becomes. Any attempt by a carer to pursue their own interests, or if they are distracted in any way, results in frustration and conflict. This is not the person with Alzheimer's being difficult it is the illness, they are only aware of how things are in the present moment, if things are not as they want them to be it will be confusing and distressing for them.
I have a happy relationship with my partner Bob but it has come at a cost. I can no longer listen to music I like, or watch films I like, or pursue my hobbies or interests unless they are also Bob‘s interests. I am not a saint, I have just chosen between a life of conflict and stress for both of us (a route many couples with Alzheimer's take) or a happy life dedicated to Bob's interests and needs. It is a 24/7 responsibility as we have no family in the area.
Handing Bob over to a stranger was not easy but this was taken into consideration and I greatly appreciated the careful preparation by PSS to make sure Bob and his PSS carer Sonia suited each other, and the effort made to put my mind at ease.
To have a day a week when I can be myself and enjoy things I like to do knowing that Bob is also enjoying himself with someone who understands his needs and interests after three and a half years of providing full time care for Bob is such a relief, and has made our relationship even happier because Bob responds to my moods and I am a happier person. Bob always comes home having had an enjoyable day with Sonia, he may not remember what he has done but his mood tells me he has had good time.
I firmly believe I can care for Bob at home for as long as he needs care and having this respite one day a week will contribute greatly to my ability to do this.
